Yoni is the Sanskrit word that means the womb. In Sanskrit the womb connotes sacred temple, the source of our feminine power. Today marks the birth of a new self. In my life I have never had the pleasure of having clitoral orgasm with myself, through stimulation of my own hands. I used the flow of water to orgasm, or a vibrator. Even with these tools I couldn’t orgasm in the presence of a sexual partner. In my experience my block was in my solar plexus chakra. This chakra holds dense energies of sexual shame, low self-esteem, self-worth and guilt when it comes to sex. Being sexually assaulted when I was a child, held me in a space where I never felt worthy of love, rather in my sexual encounters and masturbation ‘getting off’ by thoughts of being abused or used. Being 25 years old and really delving into myself and the world of spirit in the past year has been a journey to shed this old skin and to reclaim my sexuality, for myself. It has taken loads of energetic work and self-reflection and self-love to be sitting here with my undies still a little wet and my heart open. I will share with you what practices have helped me in this journey to reclaim my body.
7 Tips for healing the yoni
- Create the space for healing the yoni.
This can be with a sexual partner(s) or with yourself.
When I’m on my own I create space by burning some incense, a candle, or some sage. The reason being that these tools help us to draw inwards making a connection between our senses to the world of spirit. Intentions: To heal my sexual body, to feel myself, to love my yoni and feel her in all her mystical power, to be open to whatever experiences or emotions come up during masturbation and to work through them with love.
With my partner, we sit together, close to one another. Appreciating the other, looking at her with love, love not only for her body but for her consciousness, her energy, her being. We sit, close our eyes and just breathe together. Sometimes, holding a hand on her womb through love making, or her heart.
Ps. This is not every time, I mean sex is for what is in the moment and sometimes it’s just tuning in to that primal parts of ourselves too.
- Illumination of unhealthy sexual thoughts
Illumination means to bring light to what is dark or hidden inside of ourselves. I have always had these patterns of thinking about abuse, being used, or things that disgust me during sex. It really didn’t do my self-esteem any good, walking with myself in the world knowing that my mind is going towards humiliation to orgasm (on my own, with water or a vibrator) didn’t feel loving or kind.
I started to envision my partner. The way she loves me, the way she holds me in my own inner exploration, the way I love her, her energy, her light, her unconditional support in all my endeavours. How sexy she is, how much love I want to give her from my inner world. I then channel her as my source of stimulation. I evoke her energy calling on her to assist me. I see her as golden light being with me in my groin area, filling my yoni and my womb with light.
When these darker patterns reappear, I observe them, I don’t fight them and I go back to the golden light. It takes time, practice and consistency. Remember when we are doing this we are literally rewiring the brain. We have formed these old patterns over years, so be patient and loving with yourself.
If you don’t have a partner or sexual partners, you can envision a future sexual partner. A person whom you’ll like to be in relation with. How do they smell? What do they taste like? What do they make you feel? Feel how you’ll like to be loved by someone, how you would like to love them. Channel them in a golden light, using them to help you as a guiding spirit for your future. Remember sexual energy is the strongest energy on the planet. In terms of manifestation, this is a great exercise to manifest your desired partner and future self!
- Making use of yoni-wands or yoni-eggs
This has been one of the most useful tools that I have come across. I use a curved rose-quartz yoni wand with my partner or when I’m on my own. This stimulates the G-spot inside the yoni, as well as giving off a high frequency crystal healing inside the yoni. The eggs are the same, they are just more passive than the wand in that you put them in and meditate with them. The eggs are great if you have some pain inside of your yoni and if your yoni isn’t wanting any active penetration within her. I love the idea of sticking a crystal up my yoni, it’s deeply healing and is a beautiful tool to once again connect with the spirit of the crystal you are working with, to direct your intention.
- Doing the inner work that holds you to these sexual traumas.
Sometimes during sex or masturbation a lot of emotions get released. Welcome them with love and kindness. I’ve found that working with the yoni wand can be deeply emotional at times. Very often, after a G-Spot release I will lie on the floor sobbing. Our wombs hold energy of trauma; this can cause pain or numbness in the yoni. When this energy gets released it ‘unlocks’ that connection and be very emotional. When you are with a partner make sure that you communicate to them what you are feeling. It really helps both partners to know when you need to be held in a space or when there needs to be space created for yourself. Make sure that you have an outlet. This is different for everyone. Talk to a therapist, see a shaman, take walks in nature, do some yoga, swim in the ocean, do some journaling. Do what makes you feel good. You know, we go through things and we come back and paint them with beautiful colour which is the colour of love.
- Connect with your womb
We are creatures of nature and the cycles of the moon. Vibrationally our period blood is liquid gold. I’m not going to go into how women have been shamed throughout history for being on their moon cycles but this can still unconsciously leave us estranged from our wombs. We have tools like moon cups to catch our period blood. I like to make a yoni painting. That is, I take my blood and channel my womb so that she informs the painting I make on paper. It’s a beautiful way to connect with our wombs. Also, period blood is so nutrient for the garden, ceremony and manifestation! If you have a manifestation list, put a little bit of period blood on there, see what happens! This also creates space for ourselves to honor that we are on our cycles and in a very special time of the month where the veil between this world and the unseen world is very thin.
- Healing the solar plexus chakra
Alberto Vilildo my teacher has a technique that I would like to share with you from his book Shaman, Healer, Sage. When you’re having a shower, take your index and middle finger and turn it anti-clockwise over your solar plexus chakra. You can do this 4 to 5 times. Whilst doing this repeat the intention: “I am clearing all dense energy from my solar plexus chakra”. Then rewind the chakra clockwise and repeat: “I am locking in this clearing of light energy”. This is a great way of self-practise, to keep our chakras aligned. Some of these wounds rest so deeply that it is of great value to see a shamanic practitioner, that can journey beneath the tip of the iceberg of these issues.
- Be gentle with yourself
This is a journey. There are no quick fixes. Be kind to yourself, right where you are. Watch out for the ‘if’ or ‘when’ conditions. I will be worthy ‘if’. I would be loved ‘when’. This takes us out of the moment and places conditions on our self-love. The path to loving ourselves are so closely knitted to acceptance of what is and surrender to what is. This only happens through practise.
“I am right where I need to be”
“I focus on my light”
“I feed my love energy”
“I am a sensual goddess”
All right, all right I know you’re thinking this is all good but how can I repeat these affirmations to myself if I don’t believe them. The answer is simple, you just do. Just as these negative self-talk has become a pattern in your brain, these positive affirmations will too create new pathways in your brain that will inform your body. This what neuroplasticity tells us. That when we loop on negative thoughts it’s like a snow mobile driving over the same tracks, over and over again making them deeper in the snow. When we the change these pathways by focusing through practise on something else, it lifts the snow mobile on to new terrain. This does not mean that you reject how you feel or dishonour yourself. Sit with these emotions and honor them then choose another path, a higher road.
Ps. Since writing this post and continuing the healing journey I can confirm wholeheartedly that all self-work is worth it and if it gets tough while we move through know that when you look back you’ll see that every step really takes you further.